Boy
by LixiLovesWhitlock
Summary: AH Jacob is an actor in NY. After years of not seeing him, little Seth comes to live with him. But Seth is not a little boy anymore, and Jacob will have a hard time trying to ignore it. SLASH My entry for the Slash Backslash Contest. Jacob/Seth


_**SLASH BACKSLASH ONE-SHOT CONTEST**_

**Story Name: **Boy  
**Pen name: **LixiLovesWhitlock  
**Pairing:** Jacob/Seth  
**Disclaimer:** All characters are property of Stephanie Meyer, I just own my imagination, that is quite vast.

**To see other entries in the "SLASH BACKSLASH" contest, please visit the C2: ****http ://www. fanfiction. net/c2/74941/3/0/1/**

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**Summary: AH Jacob is an actor in NY and after years of not seeing him, little Seth comes to live with him when he's accepted at NYU. But Seth is not a little boy anymore, and Jacob will have a hard time trying to ignore it. SLASH My entry for the Slash Backslash Contest. Jacob/Seth**

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**BOY**

**JPOV**

"Hey Dad, what's up?"

I plop on the couch, leaving my backpack on the floor and managing to get my scarf and gloves off while keeping the speaker stuck to my ear. It's so fucking cold outside! Sometimes I wonder why I came here, to the coldest fucking place on Earth after hating my life back in the rainiest place on Earth.

Oh, yeah, to be an actor.

"Hey Jake! How are you, son?" My father's rough voice answers me at the other end of the line.

"I'm fucking freezing dad! It's so cold in here!"

"Yeah, cold enough to freeze your brain and to talk to your father like that?" he asks a little harshly. _Fuck._

"Sorry, dad," I mumble an apology.

He grunts in acceptance. "How's everything going there?"

"It's ok dad, we start the new season next month and everyone is going nuts here, including me," I smile, "but I guess I'm ok."

"Good,"

"And how's everything at home? How're Sue and the kids?"

"We're fine Jake, and _the_ _kids,_ as you call them, are ready for College," he chuckles.

Ok, so I forget sometimes that Sue's kids are not kids anymore. Seth and Leah are… 19, if I remember correctly. They're twins and came to live with us a few years ago, when Billy and Sue got married. It's difficult to imagine them as adults, though. I saw them two years ago and they still looked like kids to me.

"Yeah, well, do you remember Seth?"

I scoff. "Of course I remember Seth, dad! What kind of big brother do you think I am?"

I let my mind drift to the past, with the echo of my dad's laughter as background. How to forget little Seth? I remember him following me almost everywhere when I was young. My friends thought it was annoying, but deep inside me, I liked it. It was good to know that someone looked up to me, that someone admired me… that I was so special to him. I wanted to play the good big brother, with my four extra years of experience, and I did it by looking out for him, protecting him and teaching him everything I knew back then, and of course, that only added to his already strong hero worship of me.

That ended a few years ago, though, I remember with a frown. I decided to move here to New York to follow my dream of becoming an actor, and he was so sad when I gave him the news. I remember his big, beautiful eyes puffy with tears, asking me if I didn't love him anymore, promising me to stop following me around if I just stayed with him.

I promised him we could talk over the phone and that we could still visit each other, but one day, I just didn't have time to talk to him and hear the daily high school drama anymore, and even less time to go and visit. I tried to visit every Christmas, though, but last year they were traveling with their grandmother and I didn't get to see them. It's been a while since our last phone call.

"Well, guess where he's going?"

With a soft sigh I get back to the conversation.

"Where?"

"He's got accepted to NYU, can you believe it? He's studying Arts. He wants to be a Photographer," he says proudly and I can't help myself from smiling, imagining that proud twinkle in my dad's eyes, talking about who he's always considered as his youngest son.

"That's great dad! I assume he's jumping around the house."

I remember Seth being like a tornado when he was excited about something.

"Yeah," he laughs, "very much so…"

"So he's going to come here," I muse out loud.

"Yes, actually I was calling to talk to you about that.

"You know our situation right now Jake, and they don't get too much money from their father's pension fund either, so I wanted to ask you if he could go and stay with you instead of getting him a dorm, it would be one less thing to worry about and Sue would feel much better if he's staying with you."

Seth living with me? I've been living alone for three years now, but I don't think it would be a problem trying to live with someone again. I really miss some company, actually. Apart from the occasional random guy I take over for the night, I'm always alone. Besides, I spend most of my time at the theater, anyway.

"Uhm, so what do you think?" he presses.

"Sure, sure, I don't mind. What does he say about it?"

He chuckles. "Well, I wanted to ask you before, in case you wouldn't do it, but I'm not worried about the boy. God knows he still talks about you nonstop!"

"Oh," I say quietly, taken by surprise.

Someplace in my chest tightens a little at the though of he still talking about me. I've missed that warm sensation and I don't even remember when I lost it.

"Ok then, I'll make all the arrangements and he should arrive in a couple of weeks, ok?"

"Sure," I drown out the rest of the conversation, immersed in my own thoughts and memories.

I'm not really sure how to feel about all of this. I'm kind of apprehensive and nervous, but I'm almost giddy as well, thinking about having him here, living with me again. Would he be mad at me for leaving him behind?

***

So here I am. Two weeks after receiving the news of my new roommate, I'm waiting for him at the airport. I'm not really _that_ nervous, I mean, he can't be too mad if he decided to come and live with me, right?

And how long can it fucking take to come out after the airplane landed, anyway?

After a few more rounds around the terminal, people start to come out. I get to the front row to look for him, but I'm not sure if I'll recognize him with the eloquent information my dad gave me. He said he had a growth spurt over the last summer, and that "he just doesn't look like a boy anymore", whatever that means.

I frown when I don't see him, and decide to walk back to the screens to check if it was his airplane or I just confused it. When I turn sharply though, I bump into a large figure right in front of me. I blink in surprise for a few moments, wondering why the fuck he's not moving out of my way, when he smiles brightly at me, making my lips turn upwards on their own accord.

That smile has something that makes me really look at him and I gasp with my eyes wide open when I finally recognize him.

"Seth?" Oh. My. God.

Where the fuck did my little brother go? I can't really help myself from checking him out. He's so tall now, with his forehead almost reaching my nose; he has a lean but strong body, really well proportioned in all the right places, from what I can see. His smooth skin with its rich earthy color, just a bit clearer than my own, due to his grandparents' Caucasian inheritance. Fuck, he's just so good looking! All man now, but he still has that childish aura around him that only enhances his beauty in my eyes.

He's dressed in tight black jeans and a dark green sweater over a white tee. He has his dark messy hair all over the place, shorter than before, just at chin's length, and it's falling over his eyes and framing his perfectly square face, so different from the round one I remember. But what really draws me to him, are his big, beautiful, almond-shaped _grey_ eyes framed by his slightly curled eyelashes; the only feature I recognize from the kid I once knew. I can still see little Seth there, small, free, beautiful and amazed by the world around him. I smile in return.

I frown when his brilliant smile is quickly replaced by a guarded expression. He clears his throat and in an instant the Seth I recognized before is gone, replaced by a complete stranger with indifferent, detached eyes.

"Hey Jacob," he smiles slightly, nodding his head at me, and I desperately want to get my Seth back, with his brilliant smile and his amazingly open eyes. I didn't even know how much I missed him until now. I wanted to hug him, to get closer to him and inhale his scent, but now I feel like I know absolutely nothing about this man before me, so I fist my hands at my sides and stay in my place.

"Hey, Seth, it's good to see ya again," I say more than a little dejected, turning my back to him and trying to figure out the reason of his sudden change, and most of all, why it hurt so damn much.

***

We spent a month or so going through his weird mood swings. It was messing with my own mood too. Sometimes he would be all smiley and free and playful, and in the next minute he would scowl at himself and close up and leave the apartment. I didn't know what to think about it.

It was getting really tiresome. I mean, I have enough of mood changes, being in a theater company and being a fucking actor myself. I really don't need more drama in my life. But there was just something about Seth that wouldn't let me leave it alone.

I needed to figure it out, to figure _him_ out.

Most of all, I wanted my Seth back.

I started to think about him a lot. I was specially intrigued by my own thoughts about him. When did I start to think about him as _my Seth_? As if he was two different people in one, gorgeous body. Of course that bothered me too. It made me uneasy to think about him in _that_ way. Not that he was my real brother, in fact, I met him just about seven years ago and I left two years later. I never considered him a real brother, but even though, I felt uneasy with the whole situation. My father and Sue trusted me with their son, trusted me to take care of him. They didn't send him here for my own perverse joy.

I just couldn't help it! He was so beautiful in my eyes. I certainly received a shock the first time I saw him at the airport, I couldn't believe how he changed so much. He was just my type of man, just enhanced by that fact, that he was not a boy anymore, he was all man.

But apart from that, he was so beautiful on the inside. When he would let me see him, the real Seth, I would be mesmerized by him. I couldn't understand how someone could keep all the childishness and free heart of his childhood and at the same time gain the wickedness and wit of a more mature man. We would have so much fun together, guffawing like two kids with not a care in the world, shoving each other playfully, eating pizza and talking about our years together… until he would remember his cool façade and suddenly rush out of the room or just make a bitter comment and turn the TV on.

It was one of those bitter comments the one that made me realize the reason behind his mood swings.

"_Yeah, until people break their promises and leave you behind,"_ he said one day after we were talking about the naiveté's of kids.

It took me completely off guard and took away the laughter from my throat. All those months I left him alone, after my broken promises of calls and visits I never bothered to keep… that's what took _my Seth_ away from me, leaving behind this cold-moody-bastard.

It was so easy to understand, and yet I had a hard time figuring it all out. I couldn't understand how it was so important to him. We were just kids. I was technically an adult, but just barely. I would have thought he would have more friends around to keep him distracted, it was all so long ago to me… but it seems that it really marked something in his life. _I_ abandoned him, _I _broke my promises, _I_ left him behind.

I finally confronted him one day.

"I was just a kid, Seth, barely an adult. I didn't know it was so important to you, I promise," I explained after his last try to bail out. I finally stood up and grab him by his elbow in a desperate attempt to stop him, to stop him from escaping me one last time.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you, Seth. Please," I spoke softly.

He looked into my eyes like no one had before. I could have said that he looked into my soul, _fucking drama queen_, but I couldn't understand a thing of his look. I looked him back, mesmerized by his exotic eyes, a real beauty, just needing him to know how honest I was. Needing him to come back to me, to open up to me and let me know him all over again, to let me discover each and every beautiful part of him and let me show him mine.

But then, as the idiot I am, I let that doomed word to slip out of my tongue. It rolled off without me knowing. I was too distracted by his eyes, and his perfectly disheveled hair, and the itching on my fingertips to touch his squared, strong jaw. I don't fucking know how it came to my mind, how it traveled to my tongue and out of my lips, until my own ears caught it in my voice.

_Friends._

Why the fuck would I say that?

I saw a change in him, but I didn't understand it either. I could only know that something changed and he didn't come back completely. It lasted just an instant, quickly covered by the slyness of my Seth, but I saw it. The next second he was all smiles and sparkling eyes and laughter, and I was too excited to welcome him back to think too much about it.

We built a beautiful _friendship_, and I treasured it as long as I could, always wanting more, yearning for more, but too wrapped around the exoticism of him to ask for more. I was content with that.

Seth came to be the most beautiful, _odd_, funny person I had ever met. He was funny, smart, witty, fanciful, sensitive, strong… and the list could go on and on and on. He was so full of contradictions, it became a _need_ inside me to know him, to discover all of him, and the need to discover the most intimate, loving, sexual, parts of him grew as well. I tried to keep it all at bay, just letting him know those parts of me friend-rated, and it was ok, but I couldn't help but feel that there was still something missing between us. Like a glass barrier that would let us enjoy our time together but that still kept us apart. I couldn't completely reach him.

I was happy either way, just content to have his friendship and knowing a little more about him every day. That was until he started to date.

The first time he brought someone home, I wanted to rip something. A man. I'd never even considered his possible sexual preferences before. He never told, I never asked, as simple as that, but the first time he invited one of his _friends_ home, I was too shocked and plain fucking pissed off to consider anything.

He acted as if he didn't understand my rudeness and brood mood around his dates, and I was too scared to lose what I had gained with him to really talk about it. Not that there were many, but I can at least clearly remember three guys coming home with him through our first year together. I never stayed around to see if he went through with them. Thank God for my good friend Rose and her comfy couch. He always seemed pissed off the next day, though, when I would come back late at night after spending all day at the theater, wearing the same cloths as the day before, but at least freshly showered.

It was a weird year, full of ups and downs, but at least full of Seth.

***

We finally came home after spending Christmas at home with the family. We decided to come back to NY for New Year. Me, because Edward, our director, is too workaholic to give us the whole Christmas break and Seth, I don't know, because he had a lot of homework or something.

So we were alone, spending New Year's Eve just the two of us, and I was actually pretty content as it was. I had my Seth. He somehow came back to me since Christmas at La Push, our hometown, and I hadn't seen the cold-moody-bastard since then.

I was having too much fun with Seth, we played some Guitar Hero, a gift for the both of us from dad and Sue and after three or four beers each, we were happily doing happy dances every time we won a game and stupid stuff like that. All carefree, all happy, all stupid, and I loved every minute of it.

We were finally looking for some channel to catch the Rockefeller New Year party and waiting for the regressive account to start.

"Well, I hope you had a good year Jacob," Seth stated suddenly serious, raising his beer bottle, "I've certainly enjoyed living here with you, Cheers!"

I heard the clang of the bottles after our toast and I swallowed a large gulp of beer thickly. I didn't know how to take his comment. It was innocent enough, I guess. Maybe it was just the content buzz I was in, but I took his words to heart.

Taking some liquid courage, I looked at him long and hard and leaned in with determination.

"I had a great year, Seth. I love having you here," I stated softly, looking directly into his eyes and reaching out to pull back a lock of his hair and tuck it behind his ear. I smiled softly at his wide eyes and his sudden blush, and I allowed myself to let my fingers linger just a little over the soft skin of his cheek and down to his jaw, until I let it down at my side again.

I heard Seth taking a deep breath after I leaned back against the couch again to take another gulp of my beer. We were sitting on the floor, leaning against the couch. The center table pushed carelessly against the wall for us to spread our legs and lay our varied New Year's buffet; popcorn, Chinese, beers, and some spicy wings, with our guitars and controls at our sides.

I was watching the TV until the count started.

_10…_

_9…_

_8…_

I turned to look at Seth, who was still looking at me with those beautiful, big eyes and that delicious flush all over his cooper skin.

_7…_

_6…_

I leaned into him, pulled by his suddenly smoldering eyes and his full, softly parted lips and I couldn't seem to hold back anymore.

_5…_

_4…_

_3…_

He closed his eyes for just an instant.

_2…_

_1…_

_Happy New Year!!!_

I barely heard the TV background noise. All I could see, all I could smell, all I could _understand_ was Seth. Seth and his perfect, full lips; Seth and his clear, beautiful, grey eyes; Seth and his silken hair; Seth and his flushed, cooper skin…

"_Seth…"_

"Happy New Year, Jake," he whispered before crashing his lips to mine and taking my breath away.

As sappy as it sounds.

I couldn't believe he was kissing me. I spent a whole year pinning for him, watching him get ready for dates, bringing home some guys, getting angry with me for no apparent reason, and here we were. His lips were so fucking perfect against mine!

For the first time in my life I actually felt lightning bolts traveling along my body and leaving a tingling, buzzing sensation all over my skin. Every place he touched was instantly warmed, and I couldn't give his soft lips a free minute. I sucked them softly and passionately alternately, I held onto his neck for leverage and pulled him to me even more, running my tongue along his lips, needing to taste him so badly.

I shivered with the moan that I swallowed when his lips finally parted, letting me in, letting me taste his delicious mouth, with taste of beer and spicy, musky Seth. I couldn't believe his manly flavor. He was still almost a child to me, but I moaned at his taste and his musky scent surrounding me, finally acknowledging to myself my true feelings for him.

He was not my brother, he was not a child. I had every right to be with Seth as I'd been fantasizing for the last year, and God how much I wanted to!

I wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him to me across my lap, until he was straddling me. We both moaned at the overwhelming sensation of finally being so close, so fucking, deliciously, torturously close. I felt his lips leaving mine, and before I could whimper at his absence and embarrassing myself, I felt him make a wet, hot trail of open-mouth kisses to my jaw and my neck.

"God, how much I wanted you!" he whispered between kisses, and I couldn't do anything else but tighten my hold around him and arch my back to softly thrust our groins together, earning a delicious sound from Seth, near my ear.

"How long?" I whispered, lifting his shirt over his head to discover the most delicious cooper torso I could have imagined.

I immediately dipped into his skin; nipping, sucking, licking, biting every inch I could find. My cock twitched with every sound from Seth, and I couldn't help myself but whisper his name over and over again.

Seth, Seth, Seth…

"For years, you stupid blind man," he whispered, and I had to chuckle because I WAS really blind not to acknowledge it sooner.

"I didn't- I never… Fuck!" I couldn't form a coherent sentence with his delicious teeth nipping my earlobe, pulling and licking, making my temperature dangerously rise.

"I know," he chuckled, "You were never really smart, I don't know why I like you so much in the first place."

With a playful growl at his childish antics, I tackled him down, earning a beautiful yelp and I laughed when I trapped him below me, with my bigger body hovering over him and I felt the most wonderful thrill at having trapped my prey. I leaned down again, unable to keep my distance and I kissed him again passionately, almost needy, and he responded in kind, trapping me back, surrounding me with his arms and legs, and sneaking his soft, big hands under my t-shirt.

"Off," he gasped, and I regretfully pulled away, just so I could take my shirt out of the way before leaning down again.

I moaned at the feeling of his hot, hard, naked body against mine. It was almost too much and not remotely enough at the same time; too hot, too needy.

I thrust into him again, and the feeling of his hard cock against mine was so fucking delicious, I had to close my eyes tightly and a loud cry came out from my throat. He pulled my hips back down onto his with his hands over my buttocks, and I couldn't take it anymore, I needed so much more.

I pulled back again and started fumbling with his fly, before a loud noise from the TV distracted my attention and I noticed once again where we were.

I looked around. We were in the middle of my crappy living room, surrounded by Chinese leftovers and empty bottles of beer, and I was about to fuck my little Seth for the first time against a rough carpet. I frowned.

"What?" he looked at me in confusion, "Don't you want to-"

But before he could start drawing wrong conclusions, I took his hand and helped him to stand up.

"I want to Seth," I whispered against his lips. "I really do baby, but not here," I spoke softly.

That seemed to snap Seth out of our lusty haze and he too looked around before smiling softly, his eyes shining with something different than before, something I couldn't quite place but that I definitely liked. A lot.

He nodded his head and I took his hand to guide him to my bedroom, breathing deeply and inexplicably, completely _happy_.

I closed the door just to turn around and be basically attacked by a ball of fire. In a split second he was all around me; his arms around my neck, his legs tightly wrapped around my waist and his hot kisses all over my face and lips and jaw and neck. I couldn't help myself to keep me from laughing. Not a mocking one, but a real, free laugh, as I hadn't laughed in a very long time.

"God, how much I wanted to have you like this," I murmured into his neck while making my way blindly to my bed. "I want you so much, Seth, so much."

"I know, Jake. I waited for you for so long."

I carefully placed him on the bed, and this time, I didn't waste any time in opening his fly and get rid of his deliciously fitted jeans, just that I definitely preferred Seth's fit, bare skin over his hard, perfectly chiseled muscles.

I couldn't take my eyes away from him, though. The sight was fucking perfect. There he was, the man I had been fantasizing about for a whole fucking year, naked, wantonly spread over my bed. It was such a delicious sight, I needed to commit it to memory.

"Jake?" Seth asked with a coy smile after I had taken too long watching him, I guessed.

"Am I as beautiful as you imagined?" he asked smug, running his hands over his abdomen and his hips and the sides of his thighs, avoiding the most delicious piece of flesh I'd ever seen. After drinking him all with my greedy eyes, following every movement of his hands over his glorious body, he decided to make a show for me, and God, what a fucking show.

He ever so slowly touched his hard, proud cock with just his fingers, making a show of moans and gasps that maybe were true if he was as fucking hard as I was… what could be real, for what I could see. He grasped his cock into his hand, stroking a few times, slowly, deliciously, until I could see the pearly drop of pre-cum leaking from his slit. My mouth definitely watered.

I couldn't hold it for too long though, and with a demanding growl, I batted his hand away, making him laugh for just an instant, before he gasped at the feeling of my tongue licking my way up over his deliciously hard cock. It was so fucking hot. I started sucking him, first the head, then all the way down. I was pretty good at head, actually, so I had no trouble with swallowing him whole, and I think he really enjoyed it, judging by the sounds he made.

After a few bobs of my head though, he pulled my hair up, making me moan and free his swelling, delicious cock from my mouth.

"S- stop, Jake… I want, I want you-" he said between gasps, trying to collect himself a little.

I smiled at him, dipping down just one last time to kiss his cock lovingly, before making my way up again, between kisses and nips to the delicious skin of his abdomen and chest.

I took my jeans off with difficulty, because Seth had no intention of leaving me free and I had really no wish to pull away. But the moment our cocks touched each other, free of any fabric barrier, it was fucking heaven. I cried out loud into Seth's mouth, feeling him shivering under me, and I thrust my hips a few times to make us both cry in pleasure again and again.

I knew that if I didn't get inside him in the next few minutes I would surely suddenly combust or cum without apparent cause, and I couldn't really have any of that. So I reached out for the bedside drawer to pull out a few condoms and some lube.

I poured some of the clear liquid over my hand and I gave Seth a questioning look when he seemed to tense slightly. After a few moments he finally nodded with a soft smile and I smiled in relief that I didn't screw everything up. He was too precious to me to screw things with him.

"Just," he grabbed my wrist before I could touch him with my slick fingers, stopping my movements. I looked into his eyes, but I couldn't find any fear or doubt there.

"Just go slow, ok?" he whispered, and I took his hand to kiss it softly, before nodding and releasing him.

I came back to the task, and after circling his entrance a few times making him squirm, I finally pushed a finger inside him, slowly, softly, and I transformed his gasp of discomfort to one of pleasure when I sucked his cock again into my mouth. A few minutes later I pushed another finger into him, and then another, without halting the ministrations of my mouth, until I had him gasping, writhing uncontrollably and mumbling incoherencies to the night.

He was such a sight. I enjoyed every minute of it all, watching in fascination his pleasure and his transforming features.

"Please, Jake, please," he mumbled and I knew that it was finally time. Another thrill ran along my body, and all my senses hummed in anticipation.

He spread his legs apart when I finally came up to kiss him, and I placed myself in between them, before putting the condom and pouring another generous amount of lube. I wanted this to be pleasurable for my Seth, I wanted him to remember every minute of this night as the best night he ever had.

I placed the tip of my cock at his entrance with the help of my still slick hand, and with soft kiss to his lips, I started to push inside him, gasping at the sudden warmth and tightness surrounding me.

Fuck.

"Relax baby, shhhh," I tried to calm his labored breathing and the obvious discomfort in his features, and I stood still for a little, before pushing again a little more, this time I kept going until I was completely in. Completely sheathed in my Seth's warmth.

We stood still a few minutes, breathing heavily and coaxing our senses to relax, but for whole different reasons. I was so overwhelmed by the physical sensations of my lover; his tightness, his warmth, his delicious embrace, his hot breath against my flushed skin. I kissed him, all I could reach, murmuring soft, comforting words into his skin, telling him how much I wanted him and how fucking good he was for me.

After a few moments I felt him relax, and I experimentally pulled out just a little before pushing in again, and this time, both of our gasps were in pleasure.

God, I can't believe something could be so good! I had had great fucks in the past, of course. I was a bachelor, living alone in New York, of course I'd had great times. This time was different, though. This was not a casual fling. This was not some random guy I picked from a club, without any sort of attachments.

This was Seth.

Seth, the beautiful boy who used to follow me everywhere; Seth, the most caring, beautiful, smiley person I've ever met; Seth, my best friend. It changed everything. I could feel a connection here, something that made this experience so overwhelming I couldn't control my gasps, or my cries, or my frantic kisses and caresses. I wanted to possess him completely, because he was made for me, he was mine.

My Seth.

"Yours, yes… yours" I heard him gasp, and I wondered if I'd said that out loud. It was good though, the tightening in my chest lessened considerably at his beautiful words. He was mine.

I took his hardness into my hand, making him arch in pleasure and I quickened my pace at his demands, getting deeper and harder with every thrust of my hips. It was too much.

I felt him tightening his grip around me and his cock twitched in my hand before hot spurts came out of his cock. I pumped him for the last drop with my half unconscious mind, as the spasms of his orgasm around me unchained my own, and in few more thrusts I was cumming too; deliciously, hard, blindingly perfect.

I crashed over him, exhausted, out of breath and fucking _happy_. He held me tight after a few seconds, and all I could do was hum in pleasure, hoping that I wasn't crushing him because I just could not move.

We took a long, delicious bath after that, and then we had a repeat performance and then another, for the rest of the night. I couldn't imagine a more perfect way to start a new year.

***

So that's what got me to my current position.

I woke up a few minutes ago, feeling suddenly cold and lonely after spending the most beautiful, delicious night of my life, just to find my bed empty and cold. And now I'm just outside the bedroom door, glaring daggers at Seth, who is animatedly talking with one of his fucking boyfriends at the door of the apartment in nothing but his jeans.

I wonder if I imagined everything. If maybe everything I thought happened yesterday and the last fucking year between us was nothing more than a crappy soap opera in my mind!

Un-fucking-believable!

I can't believe Seth's fucking guts! He, my angel, my beautiful _boy_, lured me into bed just to throw me away the next morning like some used tissue. What the fuck!

I glare at his laughing form one more time, before watching his lanky boyfriend reach out to caress his naked abdomen, and I turn around to flog the door closed behind me. I get dressed in an instant, just wearing some jeans and a tee, my sneakers and a thick jacket and I push pass them both in my way out. I fucking need to get out of here.

I hear him calling behind me and I let out a bitter laugh. What? Did he want me to wait patiently in the bedroom until he finished with his boyfriend so he could come back again and have another round with me? His fucking guts!

I get to my motorcycle, freezing my guts and I grimace at the sure hypothermia I will catch after my ride, but I don't really care. All I need is to get the fuck out of here.

Suddenly though, a heavy weight crashes on my back, making me stumble and crash face first on the hard, frozen pavement.

_What the fuck?!_

I am dizzy for a minute, trying to get air into my lungs and shaking my head, and feeling the dead weight leaving my back and frantic hands turning me around.

"Jake! Jake are you ok? Jake?"

I blink a few times until I recognize Seth's beautiful face hovering above me with a concerned, almost frantic face.

"Jake please talk to me," he begs.

"What the fuck do you want? Are you trying to kill me?!"

So not only did he humiliate me, but he needs me so much to be there, watching his blatant scene, enough to tackle me onto the ground and make me come back?

"Why did you leave?" he whispers and I curse my clenching heart at his sad, pleading face.

"I didn't want to interrupt you, ok?" I answer harshly.

"I wanted to give you some privacy with your Monday fucking boyfriend, ok? I guess I was what? Saturday's? Or maybe just holiday's, I don't know! Do I have to make a reservation for the next year?"

A look of hurt passes through his features and I curse myself again for letting me be affected that easily. I notice too that he's shivering, in spite of the firm set of his jaw, and I look at him for the first time since I got out of the apartment, just to gasp in shock when I see him still shirtless.

"What the fuck were you thinking coming out like that?!" I ask in horror while standing up from the ground and offering him my jacket.

"Is that what you really think about me?" He asks hurt and honestly, and I have to avert my gaze.

He huffs and turns around, walking away from me still shirtless and something in my chest constricts at looking him so vulnerable walking away from me in the freezing January weather.

I run to him and stop him with my hand on his arm, turning him completely around just to see his teary face. I want to kick myself at the sight. In an instant I wrap my jacket around him and hold him tightly to me. Something in my mind and my chest tell me that he's not really like that, not when I can see the clear hurt I gave him with my harsh words.

"No I don't," I whisper, "I could never think something like that about you. I was just so fucking angry and surprised when you tackled me, and fucking jealous when I saw you with your boyfriend-"

"He's not my boyfriend," he answers quickly. "He's just a friend, a neighbor actually, and we have a class together. He came to ask me about a project we have for the first week of classes.

"I promise," he pleads with me and it really breaks my heart. Fucking Black impulsiveness.

I don't know how I do it, he's still smaller than me but very well sculpted, as I remember from last night, but I lift him from the ground and he wraps his legs around my waist and I carry him inside the building again and into my apartment. I'm so glad I'm still stronger than him; I like the feeling of protectiveness running inside me.

He sighs into my neck when I plop into the couch, but doesn't release his hold on me. I hold him back just as tightly. I never want to feel like that again. It was definitely not funny. I felt so humiliated and used and hurt and jealous. It was all so strong.

"I think I had a crush on you since I was eleven or twelve, since the first time I saw you," he confesses with a smile against my neck. "I wanted to be like you, to be always near you, but I don't think I knew about my feeling until you left.

"I was so sad," he whispers.

"And then you forgot about your promise. You forgot about me and I was so hurt and angry at you for leaving me like that. So… easily."

"I'm really sorry about that Seth," I whisper.

"I know.

"That's why I promised myself to be completely indifferent when I came to live with you. I thought I was over you, but I wasn't.

"You were everything I'd always wanted, and having you so near me, every day, was such a fucking torture! I hated myself for being so weak and stupid and let you in so easily, but I just couldn't help it. You're like the most beautiful, sweet puppy," he chuckles and I growl playfully, "You just grew on me.

"But then you just wanted to be my friend and I had to have at least that, but I couldn't be satisfied. I dated just to see if I could get some reaction from you. Just to show you that I was not a boy anymore and I was capable to love and be loved back, but you would just disappear God knows where and leave me alone," I feel him frowning against my shoulder and I smile softly at him.

Well, if it's confessions day, "I used to go to my friend Rosalie's apartment. I preferred to sleep on her couch than watching or hearing you with your boyfriends. I just couldn't stand being around," I explain, making him look at me with his beautiful eyes all light and sparkling.

"Really?"

"Really,"

He chuckles again and he rests his head onto my shoulder again, tenderly this time, and I feel him relaxing into my arms.

"Last night was perfect for me," he whispers, "It was all I ever wanted and more."

He kisses my neck tenderly and I close my eyes at his touch.

"Me too," I whisper.

"So all this time you've just being taunting me? I don't believe it!" I state in shock, but I just make him laugh.

"You're just a devil little wolf in a lamb's body," I comment bitterly, making him laugh even harder.

"I'm not a boy anymore, Jake. It was time for you to notice!"

"Well," I comment, standing up with him still wrapped around my body. "I certainly noticed something about it last night, but I'm sure you could show me again, right?" I say in my way to my bedroom, wrapped into Seth's loudly, childish laughter.

"Pervy old man!"

* * *

Thanks to my beautiful **CajunMomma** for Beta-ing this story.

Thank you for reading!


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